The wheels of life continue to turn, and much as we want to, we cannot keep our young ones forever under our wings. There comes a point in life when we need to let them go off on their own and create their own experiences as young adults. We can only hope that we have ingrained in them the values we would want them to live by and that they may eventually find the tribe that shares these values and will help them thrive in in this challenging world.
Last August, we’ve had to learn to let go when my son Seve flew to New York to study in Fordham University. This meant a whole new adjustment for all of us. Since then, our interactions were limited to just Zoom or Messenger calls weekly. Thanks to technology!
His moving in didn’t come without any challenges. Adjusting to a new culture and climate was just the beginning. There were little challenges that came after that. Now three months after his arrival, I decided to ask him how he has been and what were his own realizations. I invited him for a chat to talk about it and to share what his learnings were with others. This is the link to that chat on my YouTube channel.
Hope you can watch it and tell me your thoughts. Have you ever had one or your children leave home? How was it like for you? I’m looking forward to your comments!
When you have a large family like ours and when the children start their teenage years, life really becomes a little more hectic than before. This is because they start associating already with a different set of people – their friends. In our generation, we called it our “barkada”. My parents called it “the gang”. Of course nowadays, they call it by a different term – “the squad”. If you don’t G this, then you’re jurassic. Interesting twist of the times really.
According to Erik Erikson, one of my favorite developmental psychologists, this is the fifth stage in his Theory of Psychosocial Development called Identity vs. Role Confusion. This is where the person looks forward to his or her future and they want to belong to society and fit it. Hence they associate with a group who have similar interests and activities as a way for them to feel they belong. They have hang-outs and weekend chill activities that take them more and more away from the family.
In our family however, we try to make our Sundays sacred. We try not to schedule any school activities or events on Sundays so we can reconnect with everyone else and most especially reconnect with our faith as a whole family. When my daughter moves out to Makati this coming school year, we will even make it more special as she will only be able to join us during the weekends.
Last Pentecost Sunday, which also somewhat marks the end of the Easter Season in the Catholic faith, we decided to celebrate over breakfast. Well, actually, we do try to take a meal out of the house so it was my husband’s way of relieving me from cooking a meal and rest instead during that time. After mass, he decided to bring us to Rustic Mornings in Marikina. Paul and I have been there before but this was years and years ago. He felt it was time for a revisit.
As we drove to a tight alley, we were told that there was no more available parking space inside so we had to look for one along the street. The kids were beginning to wonder where their parents were taking them. But as soon we walked in, a fresh and relaxing vibe greeted us. A glass jug of lemon water greeted guests who had to wait a bit for their table to be ready. Fortunately, they had one large table made available to us so we were able to settle down immediately.
As we walked inside, the kids were just in awe at how beautiful rustic can actually be. Mismatched table cloths, decor and plates adorned the whole area but it all just blended well together.
We each ordered what we wanted from the menu and we were all happy with what we got. Some actually asked to taste from the other’s dishes to compare. My daughter was lucky to have a bite of each of our orders and she was simply in heaven!
Apple Oat Smoothie
I think this dish was supposed to be a “dieter’s” meal but it came quite packed and was very satisfying. It came in a deep Lanelle Abueva bowl – very apt for the ambiance. Apart from oatmeal and apple slices, it had berries, cornflakes, peaches and raisins. My eldest daughter simply loved it.
Crispy Boneless Dilis
I wanted something Filipino and a bit heavy since I didn’t have the time to grab something before mass that morning. Among their classic choices of Beef Tapa, Pork Tocino, Longganisa, Breaded Boneless Bangus, Ilocos Bagnet and Corned Beef, I opted for the Crispy Boneless Dilis. The Cebuano in me craved for something from sea, hence the dish. The Dilis was unsalted, and that’s how I liked it. You could dip it into their homemade vinegar and enjoy it with the cilantro fried rice and 2 pcs of estrellado-style eggs. Paired it with black coffee (for me) and it was just perfect!
Original Buttermilk Pancakes
For me, one good way to test the quality of the food is how their basic dishes taste like. If your dough is well made, then your bread is going to taste just fine because everything else, you can add – fruits, meats or even flavoring for some. So, one of the kids decided to try their Original Buttermilk Pancakes because they were craving for good ol’ breakfast pancakes. I liked how they whipped the butter and how fluffy the pancake was – just how the kids wanted it.
Country Style Omelet
Paul opted for the Country Style Omelet. This came with pork bits on top and 2 pieces of sliced French Baguette, herbed butter and jam. There was also an option to add a side salad. He loves eggs for breakfast and this was just right for him. I took a bit of a bite from the bread and I liked the herbed butter.
We enjoyed our breakfast in Rustic Mornings. It was a relaxing Sunday treat for all of us. We didn’t feel hurried at all by the staff despite having a couple of people outside waiting for their turn. They attended to them roperly and somehow the guests also knew they will soon be served.
A week after, my son Seve suddenly blurted out that he was in need of that same vibe for the coming weekend. He said the ease of that morning meal reminded him so much of what home is like ,and when he felt the stress of the school week, he simply lets his mind drift off into the memory of that relaxing homespun breakfast… and he is calm again.
Enjoy family time.
Happy thoughts, everyone!
**For more info on Rustic Mornings, please visit their FB page here.
I’ve recently had a get-together with fellow moms over coffee talking about essential oils and their benefits. And as what moms usually do – we chat about anything and everything under the sun.. but mostly about what concerns us the most – our families and our homes.
With over 8 moms gathered in that room, it turns out half of us don’t have house help anymore and another one only has one. This got me thinking about how the Filipino family is evolving now. More and more families are living without the traditional member of the family – the househelp (or maids as others would call it – but I never liked and never felt comfortable using the term). As they say, we are becoming “Americanized” – family members doing their own cooking, laundry and housekeeping.
For many centuries, the Filipino family has had a reliable helper or two, or even three as part of their household. In fact, I know of a family that had more helpers than the family members! Throughout the years, Filipino houses were constructed to include a helper’s room and some even their own toilet. If you happen to chance upon an ad for a house for sale, don’t be surprised to find that as an added “feature”, it will say there “Maid’s room with t&b”.
Our reliable helpers usually came from the provinces of the head of the households. Some were even extended families – 2nd or 3rd degree cousins who were financially challenged and needed to send support to families back home. As it became more challenging to find help for those who have migrated to the big cities, families turned to agencies who supply domestic help. When I was a child, this was already quite unusual for me because we considered househelp really as part of the family and someone we always had some connection to. I also heard a lot of horror stories about these agencies who people say don’t really screen their candidates.
But over the past couple of years, helpers have become increasingly difficult to find. About 10 or so years ago, I never had difficulty finding help as I always had somebody to replace the one who left. Since last year however, I have maintained one help who had eventually asked to leave last March to work abroad. How could I compete with the salary of that?
Before she left however, I had been running through in my mind how I would eventually manage without someone you can rely on, on a daily basis. I was thinking more of who will be left with the smaller ones if I had to attend meetings, and to help me make sure there is food on the table in case I got stuck in traffic somewhere and it was lunchtime.
The workload I felt was something I could manage. I had never been one to pass off to the helper what I can do myself. I guess I had practiced this underlying principle that there’s no one else you can rely on except yourself, so better do it yourself. This is also the same principle I try to pass on to my kids when it comes to doing things at home. If they want it, then they have to get it themselves. If they’d like a glass of milk, or want a snack, then they prepare it themselves.
It’s been two months now that we haven’t had a helper and yes, although there were some challenges and some still happening, I think I’d like to say, we’ve survived and are doing pretty well. Obviously there were many adjustments I had to do – waking up extra early to be able to prepare breakfast for the family, sorting the laundry of everyone else, making sure living room is in order, etc. But it has also taught me one important lesson – to not sweat the small stuff. As a person who is obsessive-compulsive down to how my slippers should be arranged just before I lie down in a perfect supine position, this I think, is one achievement. Learning to let go and accept a less-than-perfect table setting is perfectly alright. Maybe the cabinet door is ajar? Leave it. We won’t die if it’s left that way. One shoe not tucked neatly inside the shoe cabinet? Geez.. the kids will just find the other pair on their own.
Now some people may think – this is crazy! Disorder is more the norm than the exception! Yes it may be true for some.. and the struggle could be incorporating physical order in their homes. Quite the opposite for those who perhaps are like me who have to fight off the temptation to smoothen out ever inch of wrinkle on our bed covers. It is a REAL struggle – one which I am faced with everyday. Not a life-threatening one, but still a struggle.
One thing I had to learn to face is the reality that in a home with many kids, we have to embrace some kind of disorder so your children learn to have fun and relax. You don’t want them to grow up in a home that is too immaculately clean and organized that when they face the chaos of the outside world, they are shocked, and worse, are left unable to adjust being around different kinds of people. You want them to be resilient and flexible.
I feel that although my kids should grow up in an environment that knows clean and order, it shouldn’t dictate one’s life. In my observation, children who grow up in homes that maintain a certain level of cleanliness and orderliness imbibe this virtue well into their adult years and help them establish a certain flow in their lives that help them become “settled” individuals. However, I’ve also observed that those who are bound strictly to that rule at home become inflexible and rigid – something I never want for my own kids.
Well, we are all a work in progress, as they say, and we never stop learning and growing as a person. So as I grow in my parenting style, I am also learning to “undo” certain traits in order to acquire others. For now, it’s learning not to be too demanding with the little things to give my kids more room to learn in an atmosphere of love and understanding. We grow inasmuch as we need to – to continue being able to give to the people who are with us in this journey called life.
In the course of my 40 plus years here on earth, I have come to meet different kinds of people -some of them I have had the chance to be closer to. As I had gotten to know them and their families more, I had also been able to develop my own realizations about how people come to be who they are in their adult years. This helped me also understand more why people behave the way they do and why their actions manifest in a certain way.
It’s not rocket science. And I am certain you have heard this before. In fact, behavioral studies have proven it to be so. But we often don’t believe unless we experience it ourselves and come face to face with people who may at some point, puzzle you with their behavior. In my case, when I had to understand people for my own sanity, I had to dig deep into analyzing their unique situations and family circumstances.
My realization? Again I am not a professionally trained psychologist here because my observations are all I have. However, I realized that behavioral studies conducted do corroborate my own observations and perhaps point to this truth: a person’s behavior is largely a result of the way they were raised as kids. The family culture – if I may call it – has a very big impact in how children live their lives later on as adults in society. They carry with them that culture wherever they go.
Children who were probably raised in an environment where they had to struggle hard for recognition may be motivated to channel their actions into activities that will merit such. The need for recognition could even be what drives them towards any kind of action. Whether it fulfills them in a deeper way or not, is really dependent on how they have matured as a person later on.
Just recently, I was chatting with my son who shared with me how surprised he was that some of his friends easily curse or spew “bad words” like they were regular adjectives in a sentence. My son could only shake his head. He asked me why do some of his friends do that. I threw him back a question: “What do you think?”. He answered, “maybe their parents allow it… or maybe their parents also do it? But why?”
I carried on with the conversation. I thought that this was possibly a teachable moment! I then replied that perhaps that could be the case. Or if it was picked up from some TV show or game, then perhaps their parents didn’t really correct them. If this was never addressed, then they grow up thinking this is the way to go and continue with their lives carrying this habit. As to why their parents allow it, I just had to say that – each family has their own way of raising their kids. What is acceptable for others may not be acceptable for us and we just have to respect the decisions and choices that these parents make for their own families.
The family – as they say – is the most basic unit of society. This is a child’s first “community” where they learn and practice virtues, differentiate right from wrong, follow rules, respect authority, learn the concept of sharing and taking turns. To what degree this is practiced in the home, is really dependent on the parents.
Perhaps parents can take a moment to ask themselves: How do you envision your children growing up? Is the family environment conducive for the values that you want your family to espouse? How is the family culture developing? How intentional is your parenting?
You, as a parent, have been given this opportunity to shape the lives of your children. This in itself is already a major task but also a major blessing! Embrace this opportunity with all willingness and your parenting will follow through.
Happy thoughts everyone!
PS. Let me know what your thoughts are about this post! How is your family culture like? What do you hold important in your family?
I love doing house chores! That may sound weird since house chores are always associated with boring, manual work. But when I took a moment to reflect on why I felt this way, I realized it’s probably because I had observed my Mother lovingly do the house chores at home. I remember hearing her sing while washing the dishes or cleaning the dining table. I remember her excitedly sharing with me how she was able to try out a new recipe with what she found in the market that morning. Oh, how she loves the market! She even became friends with some of the vendors there and gives them personal advice on family matters. Somehow, when I think about it, perhaps, it was a subliminal message. Seeing my mother do all these things with care and love and affection, allowed me to see house chores in that light as well.
And so, as I now have my own family, I continue to do my house chores happily. So far, I’m happy to see that some of my children are clearly picking it up and loving the work as well. I put a little twist, however. I added an element of play to it. I was trained as a preschool teacher and play worker and thought that perhaps making chores a little more fun and playful would be one good way to surely get all the kids more involved. So for parents who are still about to get your kids more involved in house work, here are some techniques that I learned along the way, and am happy to share them with you. Let me know what worked for you and if you think you’d like to add a few of your own approaches.
Sit your children down and chat with them
If you were to get into something that would involve your time and effort, wouldn’t you want to know what kind of commitment it will take? Well, children are like that as well. They will want to know why they need to clean their room, fix their beds and sweep the floor. Explain to them as clearly as possible why. Sometimes, it may not be because the help has gone away. Maybe it could just be that you would like them more involved in the house work. So you can simply say, “Well, Daddy and I have been thinking that you’re big enough to be Daddy and Mommy’s helper at home and help take off some of the work that we are doing for everyone. You will really be a big help to Dad and Mom”. By saying this, you empower them to actually be on the giving of help end rather than on the receiving end. For a young child of 5 or 6, that is so invigorating! It is almost an exhilarating feeling to realize that the power to make the most important people in their life feel better and happier lies in their hands – and in their “yes” to do a house chore.
When you sit them down, you can make it fun by putting some excitement in your voice and ask them, “Who wants to be in charge of washing the dishes? Of collecting the glasses after dinner?” Before you know it, they will try to outdo each other in taking on specific chores. Kids get excited when it sounds like a “race”.
2. Be specific
This technique works especially well with younger children. If you have more than one child, you have to be specific about what you want each one of them to do. Or, you can start by asking them what they would like to do. Then you, as a parent, have to be equitable in the distribution of tasks so no one complains and compares. Otherwise, this is where the issues come up. It has to be clear with everyone why you are asking your 6-year old to just pack away the place mats while you ask your 11-year old to wash the dishes. Explain to all your kids that we are not all capable of doing the same tasks at different ages. There are always some tasks that younger ones will not be able to do yet, or it will be more risky for them to do it, such as possibly breaking dishes when they’re washing. When they reach the right age, work will gradually become more complex for them. Take the time to explain. When you take the time to make them understand, they will appreciate the reason behind it.
3. Give feedback
When your children start engaging in the task assigned to them, make sure to give them positive feedback. Try not to criticize even if you feel like doing so. Give them lots of thanks and encouragement. Sometimes, there are some children who validate themselves by the feedback you give them. It can make or break them! If they’ve done the task for the day, take the time to check on their work (either as they are doing it or after they’ve done it) and give feedback. You may say, “You did a good job in sweeping the floor! I’m so happy you can clean your room this way!” And if you feel they need some improvement in the work, you can say, “I’m glad you did your task well today. Maybe tomorrow, we can just try to wipe this part and it will even be more clean!” Don’t forget to say it with a smile. A smile is always encouraging!
4. Pull back
Let’s face it. Your child’s work may not be as good as if you had done the work yourself. For sure, there will be a missed spot, still some leftover food UNDER the table even after they’ve swept it, or a pillow that’s out of place. The important thing is that they did it. As with any baby learning to walk, it takes time and practice till they get it. We have to keep encouraging them to keep on and develop the virtue of persistence and in the process try to imbibe the virtue of excellence in doing the task they are assigned to do.
We need to grow in patience as well, parents! Navigating the world of parenting is never an easy task especially when we struggle against the habits we ourselves are trying to get rid of. It does help to live out being a role model to your children. This alone sometimes forces us out of our own vices. It helps to know that children will always have a special spot in their hearts for their parents and they are most forgiving when we fail in some of the values we try to teach them. It also makes them realize that we too, are just human – capable of making mistakes. What ultimately matters is that they see us doing the best we can and that they know we love them no matter what.
Ok.. I know some people have come to know me as a homeschooling mom. However, I also have three children who are still attending regular school. Three of my five boys are in a Catholic school near a place where we live. Can you imagine how challenging it must be when summer time comes around? Like this time?
Anyway, my boys just ended their classes last week while some of my children are still homeschooling because – to borrow one of my favorite homeschooling moms, Jamerrill Stewart‘s phrase – we gently homeschool throughout the year. So there’s a little bit of “friendly envy”, if I may call it that way, from my homeschooled kids, when summer comes and classes literally take a break for my boys in regular school.
So, to make everyone feel that it is summer and we do more fun activities, my husband thought that it may be a good idea to just take them out for a weekend for all the kids to feel that we are already transitioning to summer. Here’s a new video I did for that short but sweet summer weekend we had in Tanauan, Batangas.
The place was just what we all needed. And what was great was it was all in one area! The kids got to do swimming and also horseback riding.
For adults, it was a great place to catch up on some reading and writing and do some swimming on the side as well.
Well, summer is definitely here! It’s the season that everybody looks forward to. Just make sure summer is not going to be time for kids not to do anything. Let it be a fruitful summer for them – get them into some sports, or craft activities. For our older kids, I’ve talked to them about getting into summer jobs. They’ll be “working” in our ice cream shop on certain days and they will be compensated of course to make them understand the value of time, work and money.
Whatever your plans are, I hope it works out for the good of everyone. Here’s to a summer filled with wonderful memories and creative fun!
As a practice, my family always has breakfast together on weekend mornings. It’s the time of the week wherein we are all together because weekday mornings are usually filled with a lot of rush and the three boys usually leave for school very early. Yesterday morning, which was a Sunday, my husband Paul woke everybody up to have breakfast together. He made his rounds around the other rooms, raising the blinds and waking everybody up with a cheerful and upbeat tone. How could one not respond positively to that?
Over breakfast, we discussed our coming Christmas plans. I reminded them that we are still in the Advent season and although it eventually leads us to Christmas, it would be best that we prepare ourselves well for Christ’s birth. I shared with them that I will be printing an online calendar shared by a fellow parent on a homeschooling group I belong to and said this was one concrete way we could prepare ourselves better during Advent.
After that short discussion on Advent, Paul threw a question across the table for each one to answer: How did they view the year 2016? We somehow received almost similar answers from the kids ranging from “it wasn’t really that great but there were some good things” to “well.. it could be better..”
As I was listening to everyone’s comments, a thought came into my mind which I realized could be a good segue from what we were discussing earlier. I realized it was also a good opportunity to expound on the topic of what we were all experiencing this whole year and to have a venue to air it out.
“Let’s ask Mom…. So, what did you think of 2016?”, Paul asked me directly.
Well… 2016 for me is my Advent.
It’s the time when we waited, we sacrificed, we endured, we offered, and we continue to hope. The year 2016 for us as a family was mostly that.
When my husband lost his job which he had held for the past 9 years, suddenly everything sort of came crashing down on us. Financially, we have been trying to balance everything and we all know this is sometimes almost impossible. Although we had our 2 businesses, it was never enough because the businesses also had to pay bills. Our clients paid us late so we also had to adjust with our own payables… and we still are. We couldn’t enroll the kids for their homeschool supplemental classes because we were surviving on a day-to-day basis. We had enough for our food on the table and that’s about it. We were driven to our most humbled selves as never before. This is for us now purgatory on earth.
But as difficult as our situation may be, I rest in the fact that it is just Advent. The meaning of it all is really to prepare ourselves for the greater feast of Christmas where there is joy!
We all have advents in our lives and it is precisely during this time when we take a look at ourselves and see concretely how we can grow to become a better person, a better child of God. Sometimes, we seek our own advent actively – but at other times, it comes passively – just as it had come for our family this year. But for me, the one important virtue that we should continue to have throughout is hope. It’s what carries us through the advent of our lives and also what fuels our faith.
May you all have a truly meaningful advent and joyful Christmas this 2016!
The past months had been extra tiring for my husband Paul who had a lot to deal with – opening two branches of our ice cream shop and hiring and laying the foundation for a company we see that will be growing soon. On top of that, I myself had to make some tough decisions this year – deciding on homeschooling my children, choosing which program to follow, doing all the necessary pre-work for it, on top of managing a household of 12 and trying to make my own little business work. I was feeling a bit burned out and inspiration seemed to be waning already. I took a moment to think and said to myself… “this is why people go on breaks, right?” Sometimes, when you’re caught in whirl of routine, you can forget to pop your head out of the water and appreciate life for what it should be. We forget why we are doing what we are doing.
So i thought, maybe it’s time our family – just us – went on a short break out of the city. The long weekend was coming and we decided that it would have to be a place not too far away because we only had 3 days. Tuguegarao then (which is where Paul is from) is out of the question.
Some of our kids then started remembering their trip to Baguio. We never went together as a whole family. The first time I believe was about 8 years ago and it was only the first 5 kids we brought. Amaya was a baby then so she stayed behind with my Mom and the youngest two weren’t even born yet. The last trip was about three years ago and that time, we only brought the last three – those who never got to join us the first time. So when we said.. “ok let’s go to Baguio”, the kids were ecstatic!
So we settled on an AirBNB location because with the size of our family, it was going to be a challenge getting hotel rooms and the cost would be too high. I had also wanted a place just for us – with enough space and room to move around for the kids. I happily found a 2,000-sqm property on the outskirts of Baguio city (yes it was not within Baguio but that was alright for us) with five rooms and a very very big garden. The rate was for P6,000/night. That was wonderful! So after booking the place, I decided on preparing an itinerary to make our trip as efficient as possible. I tried to include as many tourist sites as possible. However, sometimes, the plans don’t go your way and the children were a bit tired on the second day and we noticed all they really wanted was to play in the garden and shoot hoops. So after lunch, we headed back to the house.
Later in the afternoon, I suggested to Paul that maybe it was a good time to do our family visioning session. We had done it many years ago when the first two children were still toddlers so it was pretty much Paul and myself who did all the plans for the family. This time, the children are big and could already speak their minds about certain matters, so I was thinking that perhaps it would be great to talk to them about our family – our dreams, our hopes and also to ask forgiveness to each one we may have hurt. This is our time now to focus on our relationship with each other and how we can each make it better and to make it work towards our end goal.
Paul, a behavioural science graduate, then took the cue. So after dinner, he asked the bigger kids to bring the dining chairs outside and to form them into a circle. One chair for each member of the family.
“Round table” discussion with everyone amidst the foggy weather!
We asked each one to say what they liked about our family and what we could improve. We were quite surprised at what each one had to say! As an adult, perhaps we forget that children are keen observers of the world around them and it leaves an impact on them in ways we sometimes don’t realize. These observations help form their impressions about certain matters. The role of a parent is to help them sift through these impressions, process and walk them through it. That’s why communication is very important! Children need to be able to feel they can talk about their thoughts and feelings and not be judged. That night, our children were doing just that. They shared their thoughts and feelings openly. Some were deeper than we expected.
Even our youngest, Sal shared his own thoughts
Sometimes, you think you know your children like the palm of your hand, but really, we were still surprised at how they have grown. As I listened to each one’s dreams and hopes for our family, I was so happy that we had this opportunity to really talk, to really get-together and give each one a chance to be listened to by the whole family. Issues and concerns were addressed and apologies were given and accepted. By far, this was my most favorite part of the whole trip.
We ended the night giving each one a tight hug. That’s what family is for!
It was almost midnight when we finished but just glad each one spoke their mind and heart to us. I will forever cherish this trip for the reason that we truly “got-together”.
Play is a very important part of our family, and they had a lot of it during this trip
Paul took shots of our kids just chatting away at one of their favorite spots – the swing
An early morning sibling chat – sometimes I wonder what they’re talking about?
Grandparents really have a very special role in grandchildren’s lives.. they help enrich it by creating memories with them…..never to be forgotten.!
To my Villanueva cousins, we are so lucky to have enjoyed those moments with Lolo and Lola growing up. I’m sure we each have our own unique experiences with them that we will forever keep in our hearts…from early morning masses at the Carmelite in Cebu, to buying ensaymada at Lola’s favorite Dinky Doo bakeshop, to riding in Lolo’s VW beetle and most especially the Sunday family gatherings for the whole Villanueva clan!!
I’ll never forget how Lolo drove to CIS then because I had forgotten my typewriter in Mabolo (actually it was his that I borrowed) and it was typing class that day (yes, Anya, Seve and Sabin… we had typing classes back then!!)
He went past my classroom because mine was the first one on the hallway so I had to run after him. I was so proud to show him my classroom! I was so surprised and humbled at the same time that my Lolo would bring his typewriter to my school so I won’t miss my typing class. After he handed it to me, I stood on the hallway looking and waving goodbye as he drove away on his VW beetle.
My Lola is also someone I will always call my second mom. During those days that my dad and mom would be in Texas for my dad’s treatment for leukemia, Lolo and Lola would always fly to Manila to be with us in Villamor. Lola for me somehow always made things possible! She always seemed to say yes (not that she spoiled us) but we would always have food, always allowed us to play, always was just there for us.
I was so scared that time when from my room I heard a loud thump in the bathroom. I ran to check on her and called out her name but she wouldn’t answer. Then I ran to get the keys and to tell Mom that I think Lola may have collapsed. When I opened the door, she was slumped on the cement divider. The help and the driver then carried her out and tried to wake her up and gave her water. I only felt relieved when she became conscious again. That experience actually taught me to always keep all house keys complete, labeled and always within easy reach.. I was only 11 when that happened but somehow I knew exactly what to do. To this day, I have kept it a habit to make sure all door knobs work well and they all have keys and labels for them. In spite of that unfortunate incident, that experience still taught me a valuable lesson.
To all the grandparents (my dear mother and mother-in-law included), I honor you for being the bridge to the past… not only for your own grandchildren.. but for all the young ones today. You bring forth a part of human life that your grandchildren may never experience at all. And that is important because it gives them roots.. it humbles them and makes them realize that life – life on earth as it is – is indeed temporary. It make us realize that we should not make this world our final destination, rather a journey towards
everlasting life and joy in the presence of our Creator!
Thank you Lolo and Lola, Tatay and Nanay for being there while my siblings and I, as well as our cousins were growing up. Our lives will forever be enriched because you were in it!!
My daughter Rocio runs into my room and proudly tells me that after a squabble earlier, her two younger brothers and younger sister have finally decided to play together. Then as she was about to leave, she said “I managed to make them play together, Mom.. so now, everyone’s happy!”
Oh these are the words all moms would love to hear… yes… everyone’s happy: We make sure our husbands get a good night’s sleep in time for the next day, or our children are fed properly, the home is spic and span, the family schedule is well-planned and everything else is just the way it should be. Oh what a perfect world it will be!
But we all know it doesn’t happen that way.. and in our home, sometimes, my husband doesn’t get a good night’s sleep because our little boy accidentally kicks him to the corner of the bed when he sleeps with us at night, or the help tells us in the evening that there are no more snacks for the kids for the following day, or we all get mixed up schedules because suddenly your sons have play dates. Oh yes.. such is life!!
I’m pretty sure we mothers can all relate to the above on many occasions. But what’s important is first for us to accept that yes, we can have bad days. It’s part of life to have unexpected twists and turns. It’s how we face these unexpected moments that lets us grow in the virtue of patience, serenity and yes… wisdom. We are not responsible for everyone’s happiness because true happiness is something that each one must learn to grow in himself or herself. It’s a virtue that one needs to develop and foster through the proper guidance and visioning.We can only try to mold our children, teach them values and pray that they never leave the side of good. But other than that, they have to live their own lives.
We can only hope and pray that at the end of all of these, we can truly say, “Everyone’s happy!”
SIGnature 
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