Teaching Your Kids How to Love House Chores

I love doing house chores! That may sound weird since house chores are always associated with boring, manual work. But when I took a moment to reflect on why I felt this way, I realized it’s probably because I had observed my Mother lovingly do the house chores at home. I remember hearing her sing while washing the dishes or cleaning the dining table. I remember her excitedly sharing with me how she was able to try out a new recipe with what she found in the market that morning. Oh, how she loves the market! She even became friends with some of the vendors there and gives them personal advice on family matters. Somehow, when I think about it, perhaps, it was a subliminal message. Seeing my mother do all these things with care and love and affection, allowed me to see house chores in that light as well.

And so, as I now have my own family, I continue to do my house chores happily. So far, I’m happy to see that some of my children are clearly picking it up and loving the work as well. I put a little twist, however. I added an element of play to it. I was trained as a preschool teacher and play worker and thought that perhaps making chores a little more fun and playful would be one good way to surely get all the kids more involved. So for parents who are still about to get your kids more involved in house work, here are some techniques that I learned along the way, and am happy to share them with you. Let me know what worked for you and if you think you’d like to add a few of your own approaches.

1. Sit your children down and chat with them

If you were to get into something that would involve your time and effort, wouldn’t you want to know what kind of commitment it will take? Well, children are like that as well. They will want to know why they need to clean their room, fix their beds and sweep the floor. Explain to them as clearly as possible why. Sometimes, it may not be because the help has gone away. Maybe it could just be that you would like them more involved in the house work. So you can simply say, “Well, Daddy and I have been thinking that you’re big enough to be Daddy and Mommy’s helper at home and help take off some of the work that we are doing for everyone. You will really be a big help to Dad and Mom”. By saying this, you empower them to actually be on the giving of help end rather than on the receiving end. For a young child of 5 or 6, that is so invigorating! It is almost an exhilarating feeling to realize that the power to make the most important people in their life feel better and happier lies in their hands – and in their “yes” to do a house chore.

When you sit them down, you can make it fun by putting some excitement in your voice and ask them, “Who wants to be in charge of washing the dishes? Of collecting the glasses after dinner?” Before you know it, they will try to outdo each other in taking on specific chores. Kids get excited when it sounds like a “race”.

2. Be specific

This technique works especially well with younger children. If you have more than one child, you have to be specific about what you want each one of them to do. Or, you can start by asking them what they would like to do. Then you, as a parent, have to be equitable in the distribution of tasks so no one complains and compares. Otherwise, this is where the issues come up. It has to be clear with everyone why you are asking your 6-year old to just pack away the place mats while you ask your 11-year old to wash the dishes. Explain to all your kids that we are not all capable of doing the same tasks at different ages. There are always some tasks that younger ones will not be able to do yet, or it will be more risky for them to do it, such as possibly breaking dishes when they’re washing. When they reach the right age, work will gradually become more complex for them. Take the time to explain. When you take the time to make them understand, they will appreciate the reason behind it.

3. Give feedback

When your children start engaging in the task assigned to them, make sure to give them positive feedback. Try not to criticize even if you feel like doing so. Give them lots of thanks and encouragement. Sometimes, there are some children who validate themselves by the feedback you give them. It can make or break them! If they’ve done the task for the day, take the time to check on their work (either as they are doing it or after they’ve done it) and give feedback. You may say, “You did a good job in sweeping the floor! I’m so happy you can clean your room this way!” And if you feel they need some improvement in the work, you can say, “I’m glad you did your task well today. Maybe tomorrow, we can just try to wipe this part and it will even be more clean!” Don’t forget to say it with a smile. A smile is always encouraging!

4. Pull back

Let’s face it. Your child’s work may not be as good as if you had done the work yourself. For sure, there will be a missed spot, still some leftover food UNDER the table even after they’ve swept it, or a pillow that’s out of place. The important thing is that they did it. As with any baby learning to walk, it takes time and practice till they get it.  We have to keep encouraging them to keep on and develop the virtue of persistence and in the process try to imbibe the virtue of excellence in doing the task they are assigned to do.

We need to grow in patience as well, parents! Navigating the world of parenting is never an easy task especially when we struggle against the habits we ourselves are trying to get rid of. It does help to live out being a role model to your children. This alone sometimes forces us out of our own vices. It helps to know that children will always have a special spot in their hearts for their parents and they are most forgiving when we fail in some of the values we try to teach them. It also makes them realize that we too, are just human –  capable of making mistakes. What ultimately matters is that they see us doing the best we can and that they know we love them no matter what.

Happy thoughts everyone!

 

 

Travel!

Traveling with your family is always a great way to open the doors of the world for your children! It exposes them to how culture is like in other places (whether it be here in the Philippines or abroad) and expands their horizons beyond what their young eyes usually see. It sparks creativity and ambition and fosters their dreams. Furthermore, it creates a special bond within the family that will forever be remembered.

 

In 2014, we had an opportunity to travel to Europe to attend the Beatification of Blessed Alvaro del Portillo. We jumped at, and of course, prayed for this opportunity because my son S had been blessed with a favor granted through his intercession. I will talk more lengthily about his miracle in another post, but it would be good to mention here that the favor requested was for my son’s health to be restored from cancer. The favor was granted and documented and investigated, hence the decision for myself and two of my children to take that trip to attend the Beatification.

 

The classic Parisian tourist attraction – The Eiffel Tower

Our first stop was Paris – which had been my dream city since my college days. Oh it was truly what I had imagined it to be. I had to refresh whatever French words and phrases I learned back in college and well.. at least it got me through to buying bagels and croissants.. haha. We then proceeded to Lourdes where we were so blessed to have been personally ushered into the Baths (another miracle happening here – especially when there were hundreds of people who had already come before us and had been waiting for hours!). Lourdes was such a lovely small town with so many pilgrims! I could really feel the faith so much in this town!

We spent most of our European tour in Spain – visiting Madrid (where the Beatification was held), Barcelona (the Sagrada Familia was just one amazing structure that left us in awe), Torreciudad, Zaragoza, Avila, Burgos, Barbastro, Monsterrat, Salamanca, Pamplona and Valladolid. It was really fascinating for my children to point out what was unique in each town: the rich cheeses of Montserrat, the swords in Avila, the cobble-stoned pathways of Barbastro, the lovely church/museum of Burgos  – where my daughter, who was 13 at that time, found herself wandering off to the different mini chapels within the Burgos church, lost in its beauty – and the fascinating Barcelona football stadium which made my son S go wild.

 

Outside the Church in Montserrat, Spain with my kids

Our next stop was Fatima in Portugal. Here my children felt a deeper connection to their faith, having personally seen the tombs of the three children whom Our Lady had appeared to. They were just amazed at the size of Fatima as well as the with the different cultures that came to participate in the masses there. We attended a mass with a contingent from Africa and the mass, though still solemn, had a different feel to it because of the songs that were sung. What was fascinating was that you could see the world together in that place – united by the same faith despite the many differences.

Fatima, Portugal

Our final stop was Rome, Italy and this was more of a lively and fun leg for the children yet still not wanting of culture exposure! We had the opportunity to visit the astonishing Vatican museum with all its ancient artifacts (an actual mummy was on display!), live in a convent-like residence, eat a whole pizza and catch up with some relatives who brought us around on our free days.

At the end our trip, we still couldn’t believe what we had experienced. I know it will forever be etched in my and my children’s memories for years to come. It’s now 2016 but the memory of it is still quite fresh in my mind. Thanks to the pictures we took and to the internet, it will even be preserved longer.

If you can, travel with your family. It’s an experience that you will never regret! As Aesop says, “Adventure IS worthwhile!”

Neophilic Appeal

I recently completed the certificate course in Playwork Practice given by a UK-based organization whom our organization flew in last October.

We are the first certified playwork practitioners in the country and I must admit it didn’t come without some challenges. First of them was putting on a playworker’s hat. Some principles were contradictory to how I (as an early childhood teacher) was trained to believe. Not that it was bad – but it was a different perspective altogether.. it was new!

Talking about new…. one of the terms we encountered was the term “neophilic appeal” which refers to the love of the new. Children in particular are always on the look out for the neophilic appeal in play. This is especially apparent when a child plays with a toy.

Haven’t you noticed that after awhile, they lose their interest and start looking for other things to play with? Well, that’s because that particular toy has lost its neophilic appeal for that child. Some toys were built to function in a specific way and somehow, after the child has figured that out and possibly repeated it 20 times, they lose interest in that toy.

This is probably  why some psychologists and academics would rather suggest that a child just really needs to play with the basic things they can find at home – cups, spoons, boxes, etc. These seemingly rubbish things are actually treasures for the children – they’re like a blank canvass waiting to be painted on, to be reconfigured according to how their creative minds will allow them!

Sometimes,  a good time to do this is when you do your spring cleaning. I know it may be quite a challenge to have your children around when you’re tying to clean up and it takes a bit of patience to allow them to do this ..but it’s also fun when they start digging up their old costumes or some of your old scarves or shirts or jewelry boxes which you haven’t used for quite sometime. Just watch what they can do with the stuff you have! This won’t last very long and after an hour, they will eventually go back to doing other things as well. At least you have given them that time to explore and create!

Playtime doesn’t have to be expensive – just creative and fun.

Local Games

There’s something about playing local games with the children – it brings back memories of how we were once. If you used to be competitive during those games, somehow, you find yourself reliving that side of you even during a friendly instructional session.

Today the kids were taught how to play Patintero and Tumbang Preso. I must admit it was quite a challenge just remembering the rules of these games and the kids were struggling with the hubby and my constant adjustment of the rules. “Mom!! I thought you said we could cross this part?” and other similar reactions kept coming.

After sometime, we somehow managed to make do with the rules that came to mind and played a respectable game of Patintero (albeit a much simpler version I guess). The older kids were especially quite competitive and were alert if there were any “cheating” done by the other kids.

Though the space allotted for Patintero was quite narrow, this did not stop them from being fierce protectors of their area.

We then moved on to the Tumbang Preso. Although it did not quite excite the kids as much as the Patintero did, I felt it was good to have exposed them to a focus (the can) and aim approach (hitting the can).

I look forward to introducing more local games to the kids. It’s truly a fun way to let children love the Filipino culture more.

Boxes!

I went to the grocery today totally forgetting it was “bring-your-own-bag” day. Fortunately, the lady at the counter offered to pack my groceries in 2 boxes. I willingly took the boxes home. As the help unpacked the groceries, my little ones scrambled to get one each and they slowly climbed into the boxes trying to squeeze themselves like contortionists into the box. I simply watched in amusement. Every now and then, they would pop out, reconfigure the box then sneak inside again. They fiercely held on to the box as if their life depended on it! I was amazed at how their little minds gave them ideas on what to do with an ordinary second-hand box. I let them be and let them explore what to do with the boxes until they felt they have had enough of it.

It reminded me about how my sisters and I used to play a lot with the things we found at home – the couch, the throw pillows, plastic cups and plates and how we would run to the garden and make “juice” out of bougainvilla petals. We made trailer trucks out of the living room set and used the cushions as the roof of our truck. How we had so much fun then making do with the materials that were within our reach. We didn’t feel  at all that it was “not the real thing” because to our minds, we were living our game! That’s how it is with children – they are naturally creative!

When I was teaching in a preschool a couple of years back, a parent wondered at why they would pay so much to a school that was using empty milk bottles, cardboard boxes and tissue rolls as their materials. What they failed to see (although it was explained to them later on) was that these materials were like the children’s blank canvass and paintbrush. They will be making their masterpieces – products of their creativity! With just a few tools and a dash of motivation from the teacher, the children were able to make anything they imagined. How wonderful is that?

As my hubby often says (quoting a famous anthropologist) “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world”. May I just add… never doubt that a small and young group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world!

The Magic of Music in Play

I am just so amazed at how music can really be a great partner when playing with your kids and a good way to introduce and develop their rhythm and timing.

One afternoon, when my toddlers (a 3-year old and a 2- year old) were playing in the living room and I was on the computer checking my emails in the same area, I decided to turn on the radio to liven up the room. In almost no time, my 3-year old daughter leaped onto her feet and started singing and pretending to sing with a song that was way older than she was. My 2-year old son who is still managing his balance suddenly nodded his head over and over again. They kept doing this up until the whole song was done. In fact they asked for more! So I decided to get off the computer, popped in a danceable album and started getting them to do a “follow-me” routine all around the house.

I tried varying the songs – made it slower and matched my actions with more stretchy moves, then fast again coupled with hops and jumps. I also asked them to do their own actions which I would follow in turn. The afternoon was full of giggles and requests of “more Mommy, more!” Boy, you can guess who got tired!

It was a fun afternoon…I got them to get their little muscles to work according to the songs’ rhythm and best of all – it was good quality time with my kids!

Why Play?

Many of the creative inventions we find now draws back its roots to play. Goeff and Mike Howe of Howe and Howe Technologies like to attribute the success of their R&D company to the fact that when he and twin brother Mike were young children, play was an acitivity they had so much of – dismantling trucks and putting it back together again. They found sheer joy at simply being in the moment of play! Now as adults, developing hi-tech equipment simply allows them  to do what they have always enjoyed doing – only this time with financial rewards.

Play is intrinsic to any child. It is crucial for his total development because it allows him to explore  unknown realms, gives him the confidence to keep pursuing goals and builds up on his skills.

Play is non-threatening to any child. It is always welcome. Offer a toy to any shy and withdrawn child and in minutes, he will slowly come out of his shell and play with it. Gradually, with follow through, that child will develop the confidence to play with his peers.

This site is also dedicated to promoting play and the rewards of play. Through this, I hope to be able to impart to parents and other adults the value that play brings to a child’s life.

I also hope you enjoyed reading the entries and do feel free to leave your comments and suggestions on what topics I can possibly feature here.